Sunday, August 19, 2007

Ну вот, теперь можно и по русски



Первый раз за лето печатаю русскими буковками. Пару ночей назад усердно сидел и до 3 ночи клеил наклеечки на клавиши нового компьютера Лены Ворониной. С одной стороны это сохранит ей пару часов времени, а с другой... было 3 ночи и они этого.. не суперсимметричные, но суть не в этом.
Пришло время подвести итоги. Неделя... чуть больше недели осталось в Америке. Что удалось, чему научились, где обожглись. Сегодня заметил наверное самый большой контраст. Когда я в первый раз пришел в местную церковь, довольно часто слышал от народа ответ "Whatever God wants me to do"Честно, тогда, 2 месяца назад воспринималось как лицемерие, хотя я не могу заглянуть вовнутрь, и посмотреть, что на самом деле в сердце, да и зачем. Нотеперь, чувствую, что это мой ответ на вопросы типа "А как насчет следующего лета, приедешь?".
Насчет окружающих людей, намного меньше смотришь на реакцию других, когда что-то делаешь. Мне это так в жизни мешает, когда пытаешься угодить всем, что невозможно.

Интерестная вещь случилась по поводу переоценки мотиваций, вопроса "Зачем". У меня есть 2 доллара одной бумажкой. Зачем они мне, чтобы показывать другим и все говорили О-о-о-о! Ну вобщем применение я им нашел уже.

А из внешнего. Последнее время работаю на 2 работах. Первая как и прежде, а вторая - фотограф на пляже. Каждый день с 9 до 3-4 бегаешь по пляжу, спрашиваешь "Are you, guys, ready for pictures?" Фоткаешь, прибегаешь в студию в 4 , корректируешь, получаешь свой процент. Очень сложно по утрам, когда хочется спать, и народу мало идти дальше и спрашивать. Вспомнились слова песни "I spend my mornings with God before I hit the ground"то то похожее. Надо сесть и подумать, помолиться, понять, что важно сегодня. Понять, что этот сингле день я живу для Бога, а не для того, чтобы стать богаче. И еще, чаевые получаешь только тогда, когда их не ожидаешь, в моем случае, но я настолько испорчен, что подсознательно так часто ожидаю онные.


А вообще был в Вашингтоне, встретил Панамку, Чандру, мужичка, который мне денежку одолжил, чтобы сюда приехать. Это была самая необычная поездка. Ну при случае, кому интерестно расскажу, так как фотки все равно пока не у меня.

Ладно, до скорого, дома буду числа 30. Проснуться хочу где-то первого : )

Макс був

Thursday, July 19, 2007

July_the_19th

Lysh vona lysh vona, sydityme sumna, bude pyty, ne pyanity, vid deshevogo vyna...

Ne znaju pochenu, v golovu prishla eta pesnia

Menia razdrazhaiut dni, kogda s utra vyxodnoj, kogda s vechara zaplaniruesh vstat v 8 utra, pobegat pokupasta ili xotiaby na velika poezdit, a podnimaesh svoju zadnicu v 12, i to tolko potomu, chto ktoto zvonit.

Razdrazhaiut ludi, kotorym pofig na uborku v kvartire, razdrazhaet kogda ne znaesh kak postupat v takix situaciyax, potomuchto samomu ne vpadlo ubrat, no nelzia zhe tak zhit vse vremia, ... a esli vsem ostalnym pofig.

Razdrazhaet eshe to, chto nekotorye ludi mogut vlijat na moe vnurennee sostojanie. Eto sovsem ploxo, chto ya pozvoliaju sebe raskisat po pustiakam...

Razdrazhaet neopredelennost. Kak eto doveriat Bogu na 50%. Kak to nechestno i dvuliko.

Nazyvajte eto kak xotite, eto veshi, kotorie mne ne nraviatsia seichas.

A chto eshe, eshe u menia ukrali fotik, kotorim fotografiroval fotografii na independence day. Tot bolshoj Olympus, dannyj mne bossom na letnee polzovanie. Menia tak raduet to, chto etot fakt ne povlijal na tot mir, kotoryj vnutri. KOnechno, emocii perepolnili na vremia, srazu nachal vsex i vsya podozrevat, pereryl veshi vsex zhivushix so mnoj, za chto potom spravedlivo poluchil po golove. Vek zhivi vek uchis. Potom podumal, chto tak ili inache, priydetsia podnapriachsia, i otdat nachalniku denuzhku. Potom pogovoril s Patrikom. On skazal, chto will take care of it. Nu vobshem ya po suti nichego ne poterial, zato mnogomu nauchilsia. V otnoshenijax ludej.

Ezdili opyat na Assateague s nochevkoj. V etot raz na avtomobile i s 4 litovkami. Vrode dazhe otdoxnuli. Koni tam klassnie, no esli xochetsia poest i oni eto uvidiat, nazyvaetsia Do svidanija! Pol chasa prishlos ix otgoniat. Fotki delali, kak dostanu - poveshu suda.

Eshe na rabote. Est ludi, kotorym ya myagko govoria ya nenavisten. Nu opyat zhe, vo pervyx sam vinovat, A vo vtoryx eto u menia v golove, toestl, ya dumaju, chto ya im nenavisten. I u etix ludej poluchaetsia ubrat ulybku na moem lice. Da, oni vyshe menia, dolshe rabotajut. No kogda oni govoriat chtoto sdelat, a ty poniamesh chto eto izza togo, chto oni xotiat pokazat, chto oni vyshe tak ne xochetsiia. A nado. Vot eto i meshaet, nado nauchitsia prosto ispolniat, tem bolee eto budet ix otvetstvennost potom. A svoim licom pokazuvaja, naskolko ya "Hochu" eto sdelat ya vse tolko usugubliaju. Nado libo pogovorit ob etom, libo delat chto govoriat.

Nu vot takoj pereskaz poluchilsia. Chut chut obo vsem.

Maks

Friday, July 06, 2007

Independence day

Celebration, excitement, joy... Just a regular day. Pretty windy. No business is going on. Scheduled to come at four. Sleepy. Made myself to wake up. WANTED IT DIFFERENTLY. Wanted to runaway somewhere. Spend some quiet time with God, thinking, reading. (Thats called comunicating i guess). Took a bike and rolled out of ocean city. Enormous amounts of traffic were heading Rt.50 bridge, one of the main vessels, connecting the resort and big land. Don't know, i think it does not worth staying 2 hours in a trffic jam. Well, everyone has different taste : )
Found a quiet place, seemed to be peaceful. A road to the forest. Turned there. Can't express feelings. That smell, peace. It was so quiet. Just seconds from highway. One minute... construction, houses, little lake, machines...
-Hey!
... going further ...
-Hey!!!
Turned around.
-Can I help you?
-Just riding bike, exploring. Is it private property?
-Yes It is!
-Sorry!
Had to go back to highway. There is no place to comunicate with Him, it is inside. But, eventually, it is easier to stop in a quiet place.
"In the secret, in the quiet place..."
Stopped 10 minutes later on a corn field.

Had to go to work @ four. Bought a watermelon, to celebrate with my rmmates. In the evening cooked plov (ukrainians, and slavic-integrated people know what i mean). Guys i live with started to argue, who will be the first to eat it. But for me. For me it is time to give and not expect anything back. I mean to learn to do so. Cause it still sucks. Somewhere inside you wait, that they will do sth cool for u in responce. So, why did you cooked that. Don't ever try to do it again, if u xpect sth back. Better to do it just for myself then...
No fireworks today. Too windy.
Fireworks tomorrow. On the fifth. Nothing special.
-Do fireworks in ur country got shapes - Sarah asked.
-We got no fireworks in our country : ( - we replied.
They were the same as in our city, on independence day. Sometimes ours are even pretier.
For me it was interesting to observe ppl, gathered on the beach, waiting. Waching.
Our studio stopped to operate for half an our. Everyone wanted to get that piece of excitement. Well, they did. And it lasted for ... few more hours : ) Well, two hours of traffic, half an hour of show, few hours of good mood. Great deal. But again. We re different, and for some reason fireworks not much fun for me : )
Then the 4800 mAh battery on my bosse's camera died, and we went to a party. One more hour in the car, and we made those 28 streets to my friend's house. For me besides some comunication expirience (when ppl get drunk comunication sucks), it was good pancake expirience. I did some for us. They were good, and good thing, i know how to handle a pan with liquid pancake on it. (One guy said they are called scraps instead of pancakes, cause they're so thin). Anyway when most patying ppl got drunk, 5 of us went to Denny's, to eat some cheeseburgers, and to go on comunicating. It was something like observing drunk Mr. P expressing himself, discussing it, eating, and going home. So, at 6 i was home, ready to sleep.
But... somebody joied us, and a sleepy body was lying on my piece of bed : (. Lucky me, Kate and Irina were leaving for work, so i had some thing instead : ).
That was a little review of July the 4th 2007.
Max

Thursday, June 28, 2007

It is going

It is going well here. Like in life probably. And ... it is life. Everyday. Like i thought before coming to US, life was going on there, and now, life won't start, after i come back to Ukraine with (or without) money. It is happening at the moment. When you have, and when you have no choices. When you can trade internet surfing to time with friends, or when there is time to work only. Even when u r sleepy, and thinking only about bed and pillow, life is happening. Don't wait for the pillow, live it now!
Just thought of it when was at work. Second summer. Others peoples moods influence you, and you cant wait until workday ends, but there is whole lot more, if you kick those thoughts away.

This week it is plenty of time, bad for me, cause i kind of need hours, to earn some money and such, and i expect it to be less than 40 hours. But God keeps it in His hands, and i am not worried, if this work does not work out, will try to find something else, need to wait though, but dont want these shupid factors take the focus out of a life.

Another big Q remains. Living life. Why? How? What for?... Well, still digging : )
Max

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Assateague...


Here are some pictures from my CRAZY Assateague adventure, which happened during the nite JUNE 21-22. Was a spntaneous idea, of a man, who smokes weed and me, who does not : ) , but wants to LIVE life. So by now i das only 2 hours sleep in 2 days.
Bikes werebought in walmart - a part of a plan
Some weird trucks.
Sunrise.

I is OK on the road

One of the strangers, who pick us up.










Tuesday, June 19, 2007

CYETA, CYETA, CYETA


So... not much is really happening here, I work. Sleep. Eat. Sometimes in reastaurants, sometimes at home. Well stuff like shower, toilet. Beach. Yeah, it had happened few times. Three, one time at night. A policeman told me, i am not to stay there...

What else. Outside is a kind of boring, but well, that is why i went here, to earn some, to give back, what i borrowed. This weekworked 73 hours. No off, well a couple of half-days off.

Kazdoe proisxodyashee obstoyatelstvo proisxodit ne prosto tak, zachem-to. Zachem ya, znaia, chto avtobus edet na rabotu rovno 45 minut, v 9:00 poshel reshat svoi voprosy, kotorye po rasshetam zanimali by 15 minut. Malo togo, chto eto zanialo vse 20, tak escho i abtobusa ne bylo. Stoim. Ponimaem, chto vtoroe opozdanie za nedeliu. Ponimaem svoju oshibku. Obeshaem ne povtoriat. Vidim abtobus. Ya ego uzhe dazhe nazyvaju 10:20 bus, tak kak esli exat na nem, to na 20 minut opazdyvaesh, nu ladno, dumaiu, pust eto mne budet urokom. No kogda on proexal ne ostanovivshys... Da... Kakoj urok. Doma konechno kuchu raz ubezhdalsia, chto dlia Boga net nichego nevozmozhnogo, tem bolee v plane transporta, no v dozhdlivuju pogodu, s kuchej ludej na ostanovke ponimaesh, chto eto odno iz nevozmozhnogo. Cherez minut 10 na gorizonte pokazalsia drugoj avtobus. Razmyshliaja nad tem , kakuiu by pridumat otmazku, i ponimaja, chto lubaja otmazka krome priznaniya svoej viny budet obmanom, v pervuju ochered samoobmanom. Avtobus uzhe za 3 kvartala, mimo probegaet amerikanec, vidimo firefighter, krichit "it's coming!". I tut vozle menia ostanavlivaetsia avtomobil, i ya slishu "Get in!". Okazalos, chto dochka nachalnika edet na rabbotu. Nu vobshem priexal ya vovremia. Samoe udevitelnoe, chto prishlos zhdat, poka priedet Luba, exavshaia v neostanovivshemsia 10:20 bus, u kotoroj byl kluch ot studii. I v 10:15 v golove krutilis mysli "nu kak eto mozhno na rabotu opazdyvat..."

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Day No. Three

Here is a little snapshot:

OUTSIDE:
I live in the very downtown with now five Kazakhstanian guys. My work is 0.5 blocks from the house. There are laundry, internet cafe, grocery, beach within 200 meters. I got a job (!). I am a photographer this year. Which means i would recieve more, have my skills improved.

INSIDE:
So, did i get it myself? It is so easy to forget all, God does for me, and assign all the good things to myself... That's hard. And the good thing, God does not let me relax. Every day something happens, that adds to my inside.

PLEASE PRAY:
For people around me, so that, they fing the REAL THING in their life, and so that, i would not be ashamed to share my point of view with em.